UNITY'S PROFILE

Yeah, good point. There are two other kings on the isles, tho. Neither of which are assholes. Hmm.

Thanks a lot for the feedback! As expected, you have a lot of great advice about the writing.

author=Housekeeping
Was it like 1/4th, 1/3rd of the game?

It was originally supposed to be, yeah, a full 1/4th of the game. Though the more criticism I'm getting about the writing, I might make the full game slightly longer to develop the characters better.

author=Housekeeping
Anyway, the graphics and mapping were the strong points for me. I found the chipsets to be the most visually impressive thing; everything felt distinct and looked pretty. Some of the battlers were awesome at times (unholy divers (especially when they're hit), the jellyfish), and sometimes they're a little rougher (the slimes). The character sprites and battlers are great, though Karuna and Marel's animations felt like they could be a bit more natural (but animation is a painstaking process, and they look a lot slicker than I'd ever be able to do).

I'm so glad you enjoyed the graphics! The jellyfish and the unholy diver sprites were my favorites as well; they're also the last ones I did, so I had learned from all the other ones (the slimes were the exact opposite, they were the first and they look, imo, the worst. I'll most definitely be redrawing them at some point).

This is all an experiment to see what I can do, as it's my first time doing pixel art. So when it comes to the character sprites looking unpolished, I agree. I'll do my best to improve them, though I must admit it's damn hard to get human sprites to look good in motion (for me, certainly).

author=Housekeeping
The gameplay worked for me; it veered on the easy side, but you know my sensibilities are overly masochistic at times. The skill system felt much more balanced than the magic system to me; I never felt in danger of losing too much mp, but saving up for an impulse to stun the first boss before he could unleash his powerful attack, for instance, felt really great.

Thanks! I need to keep tweaking the MP, they still don't feel right, just as you said. As for the difficulty, I want to start it off real easy and make it scale real fast. I hope later parts of the game will better satisfy your "overly masochistic" side :D

author=Housekeeping
The music was a little wonky at times to me. I'm not a big techno fan, so the first song I heard was a little jarring for a medieval country. Once I got used to the techno, the soundtrack was consistent, but some of the tracks--like the forest or the plainsy areas between levels--felt a bit out of place.

I was a little bit worried about the music alienating some people. I'm still not 100% sure about music choices, and as you know, I'm not a music person, creatively speaking, at all. I'll keep my ears open and I might change a few of those tracks.

author=Housekeeping
The story is a bit fetch-questy, but it's aware of that. I think it begins in the wrong place, though, as you start with a "let's walk up to the king and accept our quest" trope. I obviously don't know the full extent of the story, but from what I've seen so far, I assume that the heart of the story is about Karuna and Aurelie's relationship. It makes the most sense to me to begin with a flashback moment of them--something that's indicative of their relationship dynamic. I'd also consider doing something similar when Karuna professes her feelings at that one rest location; obviously, this should say something different than the first potential scene--round out the relationship somehow. Just confessing a relationship is a bit too showy and not telly enough, so it loses its impact. Of course, if this game is trying to be a self-aware send-up of the genre, then it's starting in the right place.

You make really good points here. I'm really lacking in the "show don't tell" part of my storytelling, and that's becoming more and more apparent to me. I'll take your advice and retool the opening and the rest-location scene in the ways you mentioned. Thanks :D

author=Housekeeping
Scenes in general could be handled a bit more cinematically. So far, they mostly consist of dialogue with stationary characters. That kind of thing can't be avoided all the time, but other times--like Merel's introduction to the party--could have been a bit more nuanced. I like her reasoning for staying with the party later on, but when she originally joins the party it feels a bit forced, and you have a chance to build some pathos with her since she's more or less an outcast. Though the other nagas are quick to remind her about that, the player never really feels for her because it's all handled through dialogue rather than actions, and the dialogue doesn't take itself very seriously. You can still show her reacting to the ostracizing as a strong character, but it still hurts, regardless, no matter how guarded we are. Peeling back that veneer just a little is fine, even if it's in a bit of hesitation before a joke.

Yes, once again, you've hit the nail on the head. I'll work on these areas too. I think character dialog and character action all needs a lot of work.

author=Housekeeping
I realize that the main villain is going to have depth, but these little evil-for-the-sake-of-it bosses aren't really worth having dialogue--unless the fact that they can speak becomes relevant to the plot. Karuna's line about seeing a monster talk for the first time didn't bring up the potential moral complications of killing sentient monsters, which it should if you're going to mention it and it's part of the game's theme.

That part was really supposed to be a silly dismissal of the overly evil boss-type speech. But if you found it jarring for the bosses to speak, then maybe I need to re-examine that.

author=Housekeeping
You shouldn't force a character that doesn't belong into the mix, but I would heavily consider having a male character that isn't a total douche in the game, or you might isolate some of your audience. Female characters tend to get the short end of the stick in games, but doing the same to male characters is "turnabout is fair play" instead of "let's make something better." I tend to take this kind of stuff at face value, so it didn't bug me, but it might be a barrier to others is all.

Point. The point of the king is that he's supposed to be a reckless asshole in a position of power, and his gender is not an important part of the character. It's not supposed to be a preachy thing against men in power. Would changing the king to a queen help that at all?

author=Housekeeping
Yeesh. I've written a lot. Those are my suggestions, anyway. I found that exploration tended to drive my game play experience more than anything else, and the tidal cave gimmick was a welcome change of pace. This was a fun start!

Thanks a lot! Your game taught me that you can really enhance dungeons by making more to them than the standard crawl. I really appreciate your criticism and I'll be working hard to make those weak areas shine brighter. ^_^

I saw! :D Congrats!

Yay! Thanks :D

Yeah, in my testing, I didn't find a need to use the first town's inn either. But I should have been a better tester and checked it out anyway ^^;;