KEF'S PROFILE

MY NAME IS ASHLEEIGH AND I LOVE NARUTO.SASUKE IS MY FAVEORITE.

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Xelos: Sinner's Circle (Demo)

hi.

a game with a darker story is always nice, because you can tie it into the real world a bit more readily and have people identify or feel for it more, always a good quality in an rpg or other story-based game.

however all the violence and the ~dark gritty underworld~ seems really forced and excessive. judging by your description it's not a unique game with adult themes, but rather a very bland and generic story with a bunch of forced violence and sex just to make it look darker. if you want to make something that will make people think, or at least see it as something different, you need to make it flow naturally.

just refine it, and maybe get someone (like me, i'll give you my paypal info) to proofread it, and you could have something solid.

and change the name, 'X of Y' is a very overdone thing.

~kref

The straight up BEST Final Fantasy

post=92041
FF VI hands down. 7 is wayyyyyy overrated and Kefka could kick Seperioth's ass any day.


the wisest thing said in this thread.

ff6 is the most well-designed one but i actually rather liked 8's story and setting

Best game you personally don't like.

I heard Planescape Torment had a great story, but its engine is so dated that I couldn't really enjoy it.

Has anyone else got this ad?



i really doubt 800,000 people play it, unless they are all in some isolated korean city

also,


magi must be around here somewhere

What is the best thing about being a woman?

being able to tart myself up, like a good little doll

Hanging The Gloves Up (Deciding To Go Solo, You Know...Becoming A Loner Guy :))

*posts an essay about why he wont post anymore*

Rainbow Nightmare: Libra

kim jong il needs a heartwarming game such as this to bring peace to north kroea

Eclipse

Get back to work, brah

also it appears james xvi found us

T Review

I dunno, it was pretty bad.

Most Memorable RM Characters [May include SPOILERS!!!]

No offense but as someone who completed fully four years of college level education on this subject and currently holds a B.A. in Creative Writing, I am the only one here even remotely qualified for this discussion.

aaaa oh my god

Legion: If you need a proofreader, and/or are serious about improving your work, I'd be happy to help! Just, uh, learn some humility, because it doesn't help your image.

For example:
Writing is both a passionate keening explosion of raw emotional energy and it is also as technically precise as being a plumber, electrician, or carpenter.

What you did here, while it still makes some sense, looks sloppy.

Being a writeris both a passionate keening explosion of raw emotional energy and it is also as technically precise as being a plumber, electrician, or carpenter.

or


Writing is both a passionate keening explosion of raw emotional energy and it is also as technically precise as plumbing or carpentry (electricianism is not a word!)

However, 'both ... precise as' is poor sentence structure. I won't rewrite that for you, but please take a close look at it.

Always happy to help a fellow writer! 'Word' up!