Full Games List
Featured Games
New Games
Reviews
Media
Images
Blogs
Game Updates
Images Feedback Summary
Game Design Highlights
Tutorials
Articles
Scripts
Utilities / Plugins
Resources
Engines
Engine Bulletins
What is Makerscore?
Past Events
Achievements
Misaos
Forums
Post History
Chat
New to RMN?
Full Store List
RMN Music Pack (free)
A TOAST TO MY GRANDFATHER.
Posts
Pages:
1
Feldschlacht IV
View playlists
CloseAppearances aside, July has been one of the roughest months of my life. Yesterday morning, Wednesday 28th, my grandfather passed away of lung cancer.
About a month and a half ago, our family down here in Pittsburgh found out my grandfather, who has been living in NYC with his significant other (not my grandmother, who was divorced for 40 years, although they've always remained close friends) for 30 or so years; more than my entire lifetime. I used to visit him from time to time, and vice versa, but I never really got close to him. His daughter, my mother, was his closest child, but that didn't quite translate to me. Just didn't know him very well compared to my other relatives, even up to adulthood.
Anyway, once we found out he had cancer, our family scraped up the money (and it was a really bad time for us financially, but we did it) for my uncle and I to go up there and visit him for what we figured might be the last time. Some of you may remember I mentioned being in NYC for most of July, this is why. Visiting my grandfather in the Bronx was great as always, even if he wasn't his usual self (couldn't really talk, and the cancer was eating him up, for real). What we didn't know is that he wanted us to take him back home to Pittsburgh with us, because that's where his friends and family were, and that's where he wanted to die (although he didn't say it quite like that at the time). My uncle had to leave NYC midway into the week, leaving me up there by myself. But I told myself I'd honor his wish and take him back with me, so I did.
Once we got back to Pittsburgh, the cancer, along with a lot of other complications, was in its final stages (revealing that he actually had cancer for quite a while, but didn't tell any of us into very recently) and he was confined to a bed in a hospital. He knew he was on his way out, and everyone understood why he wanted to go home. Everyone got to see him; my grandmother, my mother, my uncle, aunts, his friends, etc etc. I spent every day in that hospital. Then, Tuesday night, after he personally said his goodbyes to everyone, he slipped away a few hours later.
I've dealt with death before, one of my grandmothers passed away when I was younger, but I've never been so up close and personal with it before. I spent almost every day next to him this month, from NYC to Pittsburgh. I never really got to know my grandfather as a youth, but those final weeks we both really got to know each other and we both got really close in a short period of time. My grandfather was a really cool guy, and was cracking jokes, telling me stories about his parents and childhood, (his dad was a full blooded Iroquois Indian; some interesting stories there) and flirting with nurses until the end. I still have his cane, and look at it from time to time. I'm going to keep it.
I'm sorry if it seems this topic has no real purpose; I've been doing a lot of talking about this with friends and family, but I really wanted to get it down in words as well. Now I pose some questions to you guys; Have you ever had a close relative pass away? Exactly how do you feel about it? How do you approach the loss of a loved one and the concept of them dying? Anything to say, stories, whatever, it's all good.
About a month and a half ago, our family down here in Pittsburgh found out my grandfather, who has been living in NYC with his significant other (not my grandmother, who was divorced for 40 years, although they've always remained close friends) for 30 or so years; more than my entire lifetime. I used to visit him from time to time, and vice versa, but I never really got close to him. His daughter, my mother, was his closest child, but that didn't quite translate to me. Just didn't know him very well compared to my other relatives, even up to adulthood.
Anyway, once we found out he had cancer, our family scraped up the money (and it was a really bad time for us financially, but we did it) for my uncle and I to go up there and visit him for what we figured might be the last time. Some of you may remember I mentioned being in NYC for most of July, this is why. Visiting my grandfather in the Bronx was great as always, even if he wasn't his usual self (couldn't really talk, and the cancer was eating him up, for real). What we didn't know is that he wanted us to take him back home to Pittsburgh with us, because that's where his friends and family were, and that's where he wanted to die (although he didn't say it quite like that at the time). My uncle had to leave NYC midway into the week, leaving me up there by myself. But I told myself I'd honor his wish and take him back with me, so I did.
Once we got back to Pittsburgh, the cancer, along with a lot of other complications, was in its final stages (revealing that he actually had cancer for quite a while, but didn't tell any of us into very recently) and he was confined to a bed in a hospital. He knew he was on his way out, and everyone understood why he wanted to go home. Everyone got to see him; my grandmother, my mother, my uncle, aunts, his friends, etc etc. I spent every day in that hospital. Then, Tuesday night, after he personally said his goodbyes to everyone, he slipped away a few hours later.
I've dealt with death before, one of my grandmothers passed away when I was younger, but I've never been so up close and personal with it before. I spent almost every day next to him this month, from NYC to Pittsburgh. I never really got to know my grandfather as a youth, but those final weeks we both really got to know each other and we both got really close in a short period of time. My grandfather was a really cool guy, and was cracking jokes, telling me stories about his parents and childhood, (his dad was a full blooded Iroquois Indian; some interesting stories there) and flirting with nurses until the end. I still have his cane, and look at it from time to time. I'm going to keep it.
I'm sorry if it seems this topic has no real purpose; I've been doing a lot of talking about this with friends and family, but I really wanted to get it down in words as well. Now I pose some questions to you guys; Have you ever had a close relative pass away? Exactly how do you feel about it? How do you approach the loss of a loved one and the concept of them dying? Anything to say, stories, whatever, it's all good.
AznChipmunk
4613
I've never had a close relative pass away. But there are people around me who have died.
The first one that comes to mind was my neighbor. She was my classmate through elementary school, and when I moved into her neighborhood in the middle of 7th grade, I remember her family dropped by with a tin of chocolate chip cookies as a welcoming gift. I never really knew her well and I can't recall talking to her much, but one day, she drowned on a rafting trip. I can still remember that morning very clearly. It was the summer after 8th grade -- right between middle school and high school. She never got a chance to go to high school. We both lived right across the street from the school.
I had a cast on one of my legs and my best friend was over, and we were about to go to church, like we usually do Sunday mornings. Then my dad stepped out of the house and came to the car and said something that I didn't really understand. Then I realized what he said: she had died the day before. I was quiet the rest of the day.
It's strange. I remember seeing her at school sometimes and riding the bus. And then she was gone.
That one is the most powerful to me. The second one that comes to mind is my friend's aunt. She had cancer and visited our house twice a week on a regular basis to ask my mom for medical advice, as my mom had once been a doctor and still works in health care. I can remember talking with her several times at a variety of gatherings, and one day, she too vanished.
There was a third one--it was someone I didn't know, but her death affected our family. She was good friends with my mom, and I knew her kids. One was a daughter around the age of my young sister, and the were (and still are) good friends. However she was sent to China to live with her grandparents as her father could not care for both kids. (The other one was a son about my age.) It was kind of strange, because I saw her from time to time and how she developed without a mother. We even visited her when our family traveled to China.
All of these occured around the same time. I never really had an experience with death beforehand and not really much afterwards either.
I don't have much else to say on this matter. I'm sorry for your loss.
The first one that comes to mind was my neighbor. She was my classmate through elementary school, and when I moved into her neighborhood in the middle of 7th grade, I remember her family dropped by with a tin of chocolate chip cookies as a welcoming gift. I never really knew her well and I can't recall talking to her much, but one day, she drowned on a rafting trip. I can still remember that morning very clearly. It was the summer after 8th grade -- right between middle school and high school. She never got a chance to go to high school. We both lived right across the street from the school.
I had a cast on one of my legs and my best friend was over, and we were about to go to church, like we usually do Sunday mornings. Then my dad stepped out of the house and came to the car and said something that I didn't really understand. Then I realized what he said: she had died the day before. I was quiet the rest of the day.
It's strange. I remember seeing her at school sometimes and riding the bus. And then she was gone.
That one is the most powerful to me. The second one that comes to mind is my friend's aunt. She had cancer and visited our house twice a week on a regular basis to ask my mom for medical advice, as my mom had once been a doctor and still works in health care. I can remember talking with her several times at a variety of gatherings, and one day, she too vanished.
There was a third one--it was someone I didn't know, but her death affected our family. She was good friends with my mom, and I knew her kids. One was a daughter around the age of my young sister, and the were (and still are) good friends. However she was sent to China to live with her grandparents as her father could not care for both kids. (The other one was a son about my age.) It was kind of strange, because I saw her from time to time and how she developed without a mother. We even visited her when our family traveled to China.
All of these occured around the same time. I never really had an experience with death beforehand and not really much afterwards either.
I don't have much else to say on this matter. I'm sorry for your loss.
All four of my grandparents died before I was born. The closest thing I had to a grand-dad while I've been around's probably my grand-uncle (if that's a word) in London who died of a heart attack this January (on my brother's birthday, coincidentially enough). The fact that he passed away only two weeks before I last saw him...freaked me out for a bit, but it also made me wish I knew him more and didn't dislike him half the time. You never realise how precious someone truly is before they're gone, I guess.
Anyway, I'm sorry for your loss too. Death's a horrible thing, but there's really no escape, is there.
Anyway, I'm sorry for your loss too. Death's a horrible thing, but there's really no escape, is there.
Kaempfer
1932
Yeah, my grandfather passed away about three years ago from heart congestion. He started having trouble breathing during the night and when he got to the hospital we are all pretty sure the useless intern who was on staff just totally misdiagnosed him and more or less killed him while he was on the bed. His normal heart specialist had encountered the same problem a few times in the past and treated it quickly and correctly, but this guy just did the wrong thing and I lost my grandfather as a result. When we went in to see the body he was laughing and joking with the nurses; I mean I understand you have to distance yourself from death when you work in a hospital, but Jesus pal, come on, you know his frigging family is right around the corner, show some respect. Suffice it to say, I am not a fan of this dude.
I don't want to go into too much detail, but I saw my grandfather pretty much every day growing up and he was a major influence in my life and it totally sucked when he died. It still sucks. He was living a really active lifestyle and was just sort of struck down suddenly. I guess it's not a bad way to go, he lived a very full life, but that doesn't stop me from missing him.
Just last year my grandmother (on the other side) died of complications due to hip surgery a few weeks after she beat leukemia (after an extremely long struggle with it). I wasn't as close with her, but we went to visit her the night before she died. We stayed all night but she was stabilizing so we eventually went home. The next morning things took a turn and she passed away. My aunts were there with her, but she was so far gone I am not sure she realized. It was a bit of a mixed blessing, to be honest, since she was in truly terrible shape for several years preceding this and was living in pain in a hospital bed for that whole time.
Death sucks, but the best thing you can do is honour their life. I know I still carry a lot of the things my grandfather taught me in my day-to-day life, and I honour him by remembering those things and by trying to be the best man I can be, like I know he would have wanted.
p.s. no condolences for me please, I'm just sharing my story.
I don't want to go into too much detail, but I saw my grandfather pretty much every day growing up and he was a major influence in my life and it totally sucked when he died. It still sucks. He was living a really active lifestyle and was just sort of struck down suddenly. I guess it's not a bad way to go, he lived a very full life, but that doesn't stop me from missing him.
Just last year my grandmother (on the other side) died of complications due to hip surgery a few weeks after she beat leukemia (after an extremely long struggle with it). I wasn't as close with her, but we went to visit her the night before she died. We stayed all night but she was stabilizing so we eventually went home. The next morning things took a turn and she passed away. My aunts were there with her, but she was so far gone I am not sure she realized. It was a bit of a mixed blessing, to be honest, since she was in truly terrible shape for several years preceding this and was living in pain in a hospital bed for that whole time.
Death sucks, but the best thing you can do is honour their life. I know I still carry a lot of the things my grandfather taught me in my day-to-day life, and I honour him by remembering those things and by trying to be the best man I can be, like I know he would have wanted.
p.s. no condolences for me please, I'm just sharing my story.
My mother's heart problems are starting to catch up with her.
Me, my brother, and my father were all her room just the other night. She was telling us she loved us and that she didn't want to die. For a moment, I thought she was going to go that night...for good. She calmed down though. I can't stand seeing my mom like that; it's definitely not how she usually is.
Yeah, she's still alive, but these episodes where her heart is acting up is rather frightening. Can't say I know what it's like to have a close relative die...
...and I hope I won't for a long while.
Me, my brother, and my father were all her room just the other night. She was telling us she loved us and that she didn't want to die. For a moment, I thought she was going to go that night...for good. She calmed down though. I can't stand seeing my mom like that; it's definitely not how she usually is.
Yeah, she's still alive, but these episodes where her heart is acting up is rather frightening. Can't say I know what it's like to have a close relative die...
...and I hope I won't for a long while.
Kindredz
7
My condolences, dude.
As far as dealing with death up close and personal, yeah...I dealt with that when my little brother was killed. It was a gruesome murder and he didn't die until a week later. Despite what the medical staff said, I still held out hope that he would somehow miraculously recover and we'd just have to take care of him for the rest of his life but that didn't happen.
Honestly...since then, I've had problems finishing things. That's one of the main reasons why I can't bring myself to finish my own game...he was actually there 10 years ago when we first came up with concept. It feels wrong for me to complete it without him(or anything.) We fought a lot, like all brothers, but he was my best friend.
Anyway, yeah...I extend my condolences to you, dude.
As far as dealing with death up close and personal, yeah...I dealt with that when my little brother was killed. It was a gruesome murder and he didn't die until a week later. Despite what the medical staff said, I still held out hope that he would somehow miraculously recover and we'd just have to take care of him for the rest of his life but that didn't happen.
Honestly...since then, I've had problems finishing things. That's one of the main reasons why I can't bring myself to finish my own game...he was actually there 10 years ago when we first came up with concept. It feels wrong for me to complete it without him(or anything.) We fought a lot, like all brothers, but he was my best friend.
Anyway, yeah...I extend my condolences to you, dude.
Pages:
1
