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DEVIL KEEPER
Posts
Pages:
1
Ephiam
8579
Ephiam
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CloseWell, summer has come and I've decided to go ahead and make a little something to pass the time. I enjoy wirintg to a fair bit, so I decided to go with this and see how things work out. It helps me to discuss things with one of my friends (who is also making a story; we give each other ideas) and also get my mind off some other matters. It is not going to be the most original or heart-stopping thing ever, because I'm not going to try to rack my brain over this. It is only for fun, and I intend for it to stay that way.
This is only a small sample of the "script" I am writing. I am just wondering if I need to clarify or describe some things better. Like...can you picture the scenes clearly? Etc.
The Devil Keeper: Script Format
The First Act: For the sake of an answer.
PAGE ONE (four panels)
Panel 1. This panel is all black, depicting night. There may be a few stars, but having it all black would symbolize total darkness.
1 CAP: THEY SAY HE ONLY APPEARS AT NIGHT...
Panel 2. This shot depicts a front-on view into a rather old looking town. The town is twisted, forming a slight arc from the right half of the panel to the left in a "U" shape. There is a bright and large full moon in the center of the panel within the U-shaped town. It rests high above head , and the buildings seem to be moving out of the way to allow it to be seen. The sky is black , and on the moon's surface is a shadowy figure expressing a grin of pure malice. It is only a head, and it takes up nearly a full half of the moon. It has two large, round white eyes.
2 CAP: SOME REFER TO HIM AS THE MAN IN THE MOON--HE WHO COMES TO WATCH THE PLAY.
Panel 3. This is an inward shot into a child's room. It appears as though we are looking in through the window and can see a good portion of the room for our selves. There are numerous toys, teddy bears, and a bed that stretches off panel. We can see that the bed looks as if someone had been previously laying in it, as the sheets are moved all down to the side--like when someone wakes up (they are pushed down into the corner). The room is mainly dark, but the moonlight from outside shines through the window and illuminates some of the bed and a good section of the floor. If further clarification is needed, it may look like a room a small girl around the age of 6 or 7 would have. In the light the same dark face as the previous panel is stretched across the floor as well as the bed, but this time it is more elongated, as if the figure casting the shadow is just outside the window.
3 CAP: WHILE OTHERS SIMPLY CALL HIM THE BOOGEYMAN--A MONSTER WHO COMES TO STEAL THOSE WITH HARD FEELINGS AWAY.
Panel 4. This panel is once again an entirely black-filled panel.
4 CAP: YET ALL ARE OBLIVIOUS TO HIS TRUE MEANING...
PAGE TWO (One panel; the entire page.)
Panel 1. This panel (or page) shows the same shadow'd figure from Page 1, but now he is now residing on the top of the page, his eyes and smile arched down,as if his face were directed more to ground-level than the reader. Two hands, to the left and to the right, are also entirely covered in black, and are holding on to a group of five strings each; a string per finger. The entire top half of the page is black, yet it starts to gain clearity and light as it moves down to the bottom. To the left and right of the page are two curtains which appear to be torn and worn out, smudged with dirt and exhibiting the fact that they had been in use for a very long time but were forgotten. On the bottom of the page is a wooden stage actor's may perform on during a play. It is scratched up and has numerous holes and smudge marks covering it. Covering the left side of the stage are bloody hand prints and sprays of blood, some of it even appearing on the curtain to the same side. Dancing around on the stage are numerous wooden dolls dressed in rags designed to appear as cloths, and each is doing a small action (does not matter what; twisting, turning, waving, etc.). They are attatched to the strings extending from the shadow man's hands on the top of the page.
1 CAP: HE IS THE KEEPER, THE PUPPETEER OF MANKIND'S DEMISE.
The rest shall come later...!
This is only a small sample of the "script" I am writing. I am just wondering if I need to clarify or describe some things better. Like...can you picture the scenes clearly? Etc.
The Devil Keeper: Script Format
The First Act: For the sake of an answer.
PAGE ONE (four panels)
Panel 1. This panel is all black, depicting night. There may be a few stars, but having it all black would symbolize total darkness.
1 CAP: THEY SAY HE ONLY APPEARS AT NIGHT...
Panel 2. This shot depicts a front-on view into a rather old looking town. The town is twisted, forming a slight arc from the right half of the panel to the left in a "U" shape. There is a bright and large full moon in the center of the panel within the U-shaped town. It rests high above head , and the buildings seem to be moving out of the way to allow it to be seen. The sky is black , and on the moon's surface is a shadowy figure expressing a grin of pure malice. It is only a head, and it takes up nearly a full half of the moon. It has two large, round white eyes.
2 CAP: SOME REFER TO HIM AS THE MAN IN THE MOON--HE WHO COMES TO WATCH THE PLAY.
Panel 3. This is an inward shot into a child's room. It appears as though we are looking in through the window and can see a good portion of the room for our selves. There are numerous toys, teddy bears, and a bed that stretches off panel. We can see that the bed looks as if someone had been previously laying in it, as the sheets are moved all down to the side--like when someone wakes up (they are pushed down into the corner). The room is mainly dark, but the moonlight from outside shines through the window and illuminates some of the bed and a good section of the floor. If further clarification is needed, it may look like a room a small girl around the age of 6 or 7 would have. In the light the same dark face as the previous panel is stretched across the floor as well as the bed, but this time it is more elongated, as if the figure casting the shadow is just outside the window.
3 CAP: WHILE OTHERS SIMPLY CALL HIM THE BOOGEYMAN--A MONSTER WHO COMES TO STEAL THOSE WITH HARD FEELINGS AWAY.
Panel 4. This panel is once again an entirely black-filled panel.
4 CAP: YET ALL ARE OBLIVIOUS TO HIS TRUE MEANING...
PAGE TWO (One panel; the entire page.)
Panel 1. This panel (or page) shows the same shadow'd figure from Page 1, but now he is now residing on the top of the page, his eyes and smile arched down,as if his face were directed more to ground-level than the reader. Two hands, to the left and to the right, are also entirely covered in black, and are holding on to a group of five strings each; a string per finger. The entire top half of the page is black, yet it starts to gain clearity and light as it moves down to the bottom. To the left and right of the page are two curtains which appear to be torn and worn out, smudged with dirt and exhibiting the fact that they had been in use for a very long time but were forgotten. On the bottom of the page is a wooden stage actor's may perform on during a play. It is scratched up and has numerous holes and smudge marks covering it. Covering the left side of the stage are bloody hand prints and sprays of blood, some of it even appearing on the curtain to the same side. Dancing around on the stage are numerous wooden dolls dressed in rags designed to appear as cloths, and each is doing a small action (does not matter what; twisting, turning, waving, etc.). They are attatched to the strings extending from the shadow man's hands on the top of the page.
1 CAP: HE IS THE KEEPER, THE PUPPETEER OF MANKIND'S DEMISE.
The rest shall come later...!
Ephiam
8579
PAGE THREE (six panels)
Panel 1. Sky-level view of a grassy field. There are a few trees, and bunches of flowers scattered about here-and-there. The wind appears to be quite strong, as the trees are blowing to one side. We can see three main objects; A young man, a much smaller man approaching, and a large bug-like creature from the direction the smaller man is walking away from (which appears, if we can see it well enough, to be a beetle).
SFX: SHHHHH
Panel 2. This panel is a portrait of one of the young men we had seen from the last panel. It takes up a good portion of the side of the page and is just there to give the reader a general look as to how the character's full body looks. The character is a young man, aged 16 (and is going on 17) who is 6'3. He has short, shoulder length hair; clear eyes; has tanned skin; is slightly muscular looking, and is rather lean. He is wearing a an open zip-up sweater with a black T-Shirt underneath. Light colored windpants cover his legs, and he wears black sneakers on his feet. The character is slouched over, and has his hands in his sweater's pockets. He wears a bored expression, as well as that which shows that he is not paying attention to his surroundings, either. He is thinking.
Panel 3. A close-up of the young boy's face. He has a sad, dark look.
1 CAP: I'VE BEEN ASKING MYSELF THE SAME QUESTION FOR SO LONG...
Panel 4. The same as shown in Panel 3, except now his expression has changed to that of suprise. As if he has been awoken from a deep state of thought, or if he had seen something frightening. A dark, thick hand is grasping his right shoulder.
ALZO (OP): LANCEL-
2 SFX: Gasp! (from boy)
3 SFX: Grab (from hand)
Panel 5. Lancel (the boy) has turned to face the man. He is half-way turned around, facing the man who has now moved to his side. The man is small and dwarfish (about 5' 0), quite muscular in the upper body area (arms and chest) but has a large gut on him. He has two small, beady eyes and a moustashe + beard that is fluffy, but covered in crumbs and entangled with knots. He is wearing a torn, rag-like vest; has a pair of shorts, and is also wearing a pair of heavy work boots. He is looking up to Lancel, a slight smile on his face.
ALZO: YOU READY TO HEAD OUT YET 'ER WHAT?
LANCEL: READY?--
1 CAP: "WHY ME?" AND EVEN NOW...I STILL ASK MYSELF. OUT OF EVERY HUMAN BEING ON THIS ENTIRE PLANET...WHY WAS IT ME?
Panel 6. Shows the upper-half of Lancel. He is wearing a serious expression on his face. (This may be subject to changing)
LANCEL: I'VE BEEN READY...FOR A VERY LONG TIME.
PAGE THREE, CONTINUED.
1 CAP: I'M HOPING NOW...TO FIND THE ANSWERS TO MY QUESTION.
PAGE FOUR (Cover Page)
Panle 1(Page). Displays the Logo plus cover picture (Whatever it may be)
PAGE FIVE (five panels)
Panel 1. Depicts a very cartoon-esque drawing of both Alzo and Lancel. This is a half comedic scene, so detail is not necessarily required.
ALZO: AYE? HAVE YE NOW? WELL IF YA ASKED ME, I'D SAY YOU'RE BEIN' A BIT TOO DRAMATIC FOR MY LIKIN'
LANCEL: HEH HEH... HEY, BUT IT'S TRUE! YOU TOOK FOREVER TO GET HERE! I WAS BORED OUT OF MY DAMN MIND!
ALZO (Small. Near Alzo's character, as if he is saying it to himself.): HE NEVER HEARD ME COME ON THAT!?
SFX: DOOOOON
Panel 2. Alzo is laughing madly, holding his gut as it shakes about. Lancel is just giving him an odd look, wondering what the hell that man is doing.
ALZO: HA HA! THEN I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO ASK YA TO FORGIVE ME! DIDN'T MEAN TO KEEP YOU WAITIN' HERE FOR SO LONG!
LANCEL (Small. Near Lancel's character, as if he is saying it to himself.): WHAT'S SO FUNNY..?
SFX: HA HA HA!
Panel 3. A small panel showing Alzo beginning to turn around.
ALZO: SO THEN--
Panel 4. Alzo is to the side, his arms out as if he is presenting something amazing to Lancel. The object he is reveling is a mammoth-sized Beetle. It has massive set of pincers, powerfull legs, and a fierce, deadly look. There mere sight of it may make a man cower in fear, as the insect looks as if it could rip any creature apart without the slightest thought. It's buggy eyes just wander into space, making it look sort of dumbfounded. It is about 6'8, and has a few old, dusty mat's laying on it's shell/back and a reign extending from it's mouth up to it's shell, where it is just thrown over to the side. Lancel is very suprised, and maybe even frightened (but in a comedic sense), as he is leaning back as if he is about to fall over.
ALZO: --HOW D'YOU LIKE MY NEW RIDE!?
LANCEL: W-WHAT THE HELL IS IT!?
LANCEL (Small. Near Lancel's character as if he is saying it to himself.): IS THAT A BEETLE!?
SFX: TAADAAAA
Panel 5. This is a front on view of Lancel, who has fallen over and is now on the verge of pushing himself back up. His hair is mess, and his cloths are ruffled and dirty. He is leaning back, his feet planted on the ground but knees pointed to the air, each leg slanted to a different direction. The boy is using his arms to keep his top half from touching the ground. He wears a terrified expression, thinking to himself that he just wishes to get as far away from that creature as possible.
LANCE: W-WHAT...WHAT IS THAT THING...?
PAGE SIX (six panels)
Panel 1. A closer shot of Alzo next to the gargantuan Beetle (which the ready most likely can not see the entirety of here). He has his left hand on the side of the insect's shell, while the right is placed on his stomach, once again holding it into place as he laughs wildly. His gaze is cast upon Lancel, and he wears the widest of smirks.
ALZO: YOUR FACE IS PRICELESS LAD! PRICELESS! GA HA HA HA! HAVE YE NEVER SEEN ONE OF THESE HERE BEETLES BEFORE IN YER LIFE?
Panel 2. A shot of Lancel's bottom-half as he pushes himself up from the ground.
SFX: PUSH
Panel 3. Now we get a shot of the upper half of Lancel's body. But, unlike last Panel, this shot is closer and we can see the confusion and fear in Lancel's eyes. His face expresses it, and we see that he does not know ether or not to run away or just stare in pure astonishment. His figure is tilted slightly to the side, just to add to that feeling of confusion.
1 CAP: I WAS TERRIFIED. I...HAD NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT IN MY LIFE. REGARDLESS OF WETHER OR NOT IT WAS HARMLESS, MY BODY JUST WOULD NOT MOVE.
LANCEL: T-THIS...
2 CAP: I JUST STOOD THERE...NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO.
Panel 4. This is a shot of Alzo as he wears a face of amusement. It is as though he may have previously thought that Lancel was joking...but is now supprised to find out that he was indeed being truthful.
Panel 5. Lancel is awoken from his state of shock, feeling something touch his soulder. His head immediately turns to find the point of preassure on his body, which happens to be Alzo's hand. Alzo has grasped his left arm, and is looking up to his face.
SFX: !?
Panel 6. Alzo wears a soft, kind face. His appearance nearly mimics that of a fatherly figure caring for his frightened son. However, his eyes reflect his serious nature, as if he is trying to understand where Lancel is coming from-- where his fear resides.
ALZO: SO YER REALLY AFRAID, AREN'T YE...?
PAGE SEVEN (six panels)
Panel 1. A small, close shot of Lancel's face. He is sad, and almost embarassed by what he has shown Alzo. He does not wish to answer the question, as he fears what else he might come to regret from it.
LANCEL: ...
1 CAP: WHAT COULD I SAY? I WAS AFRAID...BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO ADMIT IT. I COULD NEVER ADMIT IT. BUT...
Panel 2. A side-shot of Lancel's face as he speaks. The face is emphasized, especially his mouth, opening for the boy to speak. It is as if this is a great revelation, and that he is about to speak words never before spoken by man.
1 CAP: I DID.
LANCEL: YEAH...
Panel 3. A distant shot. This is meant to represent the impact of Lancel's words. It as if he has never admitted so easily to something like this in his life, and it is showing how easily he has now broken the barrier. The character's are shown as silhouette's in the distance, the wind blowing through the area at a near perfect time. The background is very bright, yet the character's are dark.
Panel 4. A small panel. This shows Alzo as a smile inches it's way across his face. He is proud, and not dissapointed at all in what Lancel has done. The smile shows true happiness, and brings a feeling of '"aw".
Panel 5. Alzo let's go of Lancel's arm, pulling it back to his side.
Panel 6. Lancel now stands confused as he watches Alzo's backside. He expresses a feeling of wonder and mystery, as he is thinking now of what Alzo must think of all of this. He had seen the smile, yet he is still wondering what it could all mean. Alzo has turned completely away from Lancel, and is now looking once again to the Beetle.
ALZO: STRANGE, AINT IT?
PAGE EIGHT (five panels)
Panel 1. This shot is shown from above the character's. We are looking down from a slight angle to them, and are more near Alzo than Lancel, as the boy is seen standing idly by and waiting for an answer he may regret hearing.
ALZO: HOW WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE I DREAMED OF RIDIN' ONE OF THESE THINGS. BUT LOOK OF YOU...YER AFRAID TO EVEN SEE ONE OF 'EM.
Panel 2. Another shot of Lancel's face. He is expressing shame and sadness, but there are no tears or anything of the sort. He just feels as though he has let Alzo down, and that he is now mocking him for doing so.
LANCEL: ...
Panel 3. We are positioned a good ways away from Alzo, yet we are given a near up-shot of his figure. We can still see Lancel in the background, but he is least important during this time, and all focus is given purely to Alzo.
ALZO: BUT THAT'S JUST WAY THE WORLD IS, HUH? ONE MANS DREAM IS ANOTHER'S WORST NIGHTMARE. IT COMES TO SHOW HOW EVERYONE IS MEANT FER SOMETHIN' DIFFERENT. SO LANCEL--
Panel 4. A large shot of Alzo's face as he is turning back, a kind smile place on his lips. He is expressing understanding and comfortm and seems to know full-well what Lancel feels.
ALZO: --CHEER UP, WOULD YA?
Panel 5. A small shot of Lancel's face. He is showing a slight smile, and is content with what Alzo has said to him. It is as if all of his worries have been washed away, and he is free to speak his mind to the world without anyone caring. Everyone undertsands, and he is happy.
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