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HAD AN ARTICLE PUBLISHED AT THE ESCAPIST
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Stew
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Actually a pretty good read, albeit a very personal one. I haven't played either of the games mentioned at the end of the article, but I definitely agree with the finer bits regarding subtlety and the like.
And, well, that FF8's love story is poop.
And, well, that FF8's love story is poop.
Cozzer
0
I liked it.
It's sad how most videogames can't seem to accept the fact that their audience isn't entirely composed by 14-years old anymore.
Now, I believe that what is "serious business" for a 14-years old, if done well, is a pretty good light read for an adult (shonen mangas are my main example).
Still, there's so much more that could be done...
It's sad how most videogames can't seem to accept the fact that their audience isn't entirely composed by 14-years old anymore.
Now, I believe that what is "serious business" for a 14-years old, if done well, is a pretty good light read for an adult (shonen mangas are my main example).
Still, there's so much more that could be done...
I really liked this. I can't exactly symathize too much with you though, I've never been one to be shy. I really like reading stuff like this, though. Keep it up.
This totally speaks the truth, but at the same time the whole point of video games and movies is to portray a fantasy.
Imagine if the hero instead met that one chick at a party, both were drunk and he'd hit it off with a corny line that somehow made her laugh and they get to chatting. He gets her number and asks her out two days later and she's down for the cause. the end.
Or he fights off intergalactic fire spewing hookers from mars that kidnapped his woman in hopes of sacrificing her to resurrect a demon god.
Sure, the second one sounds like a horridly stereotypical "been there done that" storyline, but at the same time as a gamer it sounds like a whole lot more fun to play.
Imagine if the hero instead met that one chick at a party, both were drunk and he'd hit it off with a corny line that somehow made her laugh and they get to chatting. He gets her number and asks her out two days later and she's down for the cause. the end.
Or he fights off intergalactic fire spewing hookers from mars that kidnapped his woman in hopes of sacrificing her to resurrect a demon god.
Sure, the second one sounds like a horridly stereotypical "been there done that" storyline, but at the same time as a gamer it sounds like a whole lot more fun to play.
Lotus_Games
1134
Great read, although FF8 will always be my favorite game. That's where our opinions differ a bit. I loved both the relationships portrayed in FF8 and the subtle one in U3 so I appreciate both.
Cozzer
0
author=Despite
Imagine if the hero instead met that one chick at a party, both were drunk and he'd hit it off with a corny line that somehow made her laugh and they get to chatting. He gets her number and asks her out two days later and she's down for the cause. the end.
If somebody came up with some fun gameplay for this, it would istantly become the best love story in videogames ever.
("You're drunk! Try not to fall on your face and look like an idiot!" ; "You're still drunk! Reach the girl on the dance floor without bumping against the big muscolar angry guy!" ; etc.)
More seriously: personally, I like a bit of reality in my escapism.
How can I think "I wish I was him" or "I wish she was my girl" if he and she aren't human beings?
Hey Stew. I like your article (largely because of how my own thoughts about romance have changed so much over the years) and congratulations on the Escapist. That's a mighty big billboard.
Can I ask you a personal question? I guess it's pretty insensitive, but it's meant with all due respect. This has nothing to do with videogames and I'm not trying to troll ya.
Do you worry about the fact that your wife is the only person you've ever been with? Doesn't it concern you that you missed out, not necessarily on the right person for you, but on the experience of being a single adult and sewing your wild oats to to speak? Do you worry that the entire situation is a mid-life crisis or a divorce waiting to happen ten or twenty years down the road, that at some point you'll realize your life is halfway over and you've only ever been with one woman, and that that woman is essentially the first one who said yes?
I will disclose, personally, since I'm asking. I've been in a stable monogamous relationship with the same girl for over five years now. I love her, but we're not married, and we're not even engaged. She's the only living human female (i.e. the only entity, period) I can even imagine marrying, ever, and if I lost her I'd be completely lost to the world, but I hesitate to marry her at this juncture. There's a lot of reasons--one of them is that I don't feel like an adult, I feel like a 25 year old boy, and you have to be a grown up to get married, and others are too neurotic or personal to disclose--but the relevant one to this discussion is that I worry about the fact that before her I was with such a vanishingly small number of women in my life. (I'd honestly call it, besides my current relationship, one relationship and change; at least thee girls I was involved with don't count as a full integer or even high enough decimals to add up to a whole person, for various reasons, so we'll call it like 1.75 relationships before this one.)
I worry about this...for all of the reasons I listed above.
Can I ask you a personal question? I guess it's pretty insensitive, but it's meant with all due respect. This has nothing to do with videogames and I'm not trying to troll ya.
We stayed together, eventually marrying in 2009, and as the years went by, I began to learn more and more what true romance is. The big moments were fun, but the real foundation was simply the act of maintaining our relationship. Having arguments and coming to their resolutions. Accepting each other's flaws and working on our own. Real love isn't grounded in grand gestures but rather small moments and shared history. It's the nicknames and jokes only we understand. It's holding hands in the car and kissing each other goodbye as much out of habit as out of passion. It's the boring moments that happen after the credits roll.
Do you worry about the fact that your wife is the only person you've ever been with? Doesn't it concern you that you missed out, not necessarily on the right person for you, but on the experience of being a single adult and sewing your wild oats to to speak? Do you worry that the entire situation is a mid-life crisis or a divorce waiting to happen ten or twenty years down the road, that at some point you'll realize your life is halfway over and you've only ever been with one woman, and that that woman is essentially the first one who said yes?
I will disclose, personally, since I'm asking. I've been in a stable monogamous relationship with the same girl for over five years now. I love her, but we're not married, and we're not even engaged. She's the only living human female (i.e. the only entity, period) I can even imagine marrying, ever, and if I lost her I'd be completely lost to the world, but I hesitate to marry her at this juncture. There's a lot of reasons--one of them is that I don't feel like an adult, I feel like a 25 year old boy, and you have to be a grown up to get married, and others are too neurotic or personal to disclose--but the relevant one to this discussion is that I worry about the fact that before her I was with such a vanishingly small number of women in my life. (I'd honestly call it, besides my current relationship, one relationship and change; at least thee girls I was involved with don't count as a full integer or even high enough decimals to add up to a whole person, for various reasons, so we'll call it like 1.75 relationships before this one.)
I worry about this...for all of the reasons I listed above.
I can tell from that post that your wife doesn't stalk your forum posts. Or she has a sense of humor. Either way, Lucky!
While I know you're being flippant, I was going to mention--part of this anxiety comes from the fact that I value fidelity a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Like I think that unfaithfulness being punished with DEATH is probably not unreasonable, which is quite an extreme viewpoint to hold in our modern western culture, although I've softened on this over time. I'm still pretty much...if you've ever seen Mad Men, my feelings toward marital fidelity are the exact opposite of Don Draper's. He is a highly efficient adultery machine. I am the polar opposite of that. When I imagine my girlfriend cheating on me I get physically ill with rage. I would not want to do that to anyone. Ever.
This is part of why the whole "I haven't lived!" thing is a source of anxiety for me, because on no level am I going "well if that happens I'll just cheat".
Edit: Stew, I saw your credits on the escapist and that's a nice body of work you've got there. You're a big man in the blogosphere. Oh god...I just used the word blogosphere. I deserve everything that's ever happened to me.
While I know you're being flippant, I was going to mention--part of this anxiety comes from the fact that I value fidelity a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Like I think that unfaithfulness being punished with DEATH is probably not unreasonable, which is quite an extreme viewpoint to hold in our modern western culture, although I've softened on this over time. I'm still pretty much...if you've ever seen Mad Men, my feelings toward marital fidelity are the exact opposite of Don Draper's. He is a highly efficient adultery machine. I am the polar opposite of that. When I imagine my girlfriend cheating on me I get physically ill with rage. I would not want to do that to anyone. Ever.
This is part of why the whole "I haven't lived!" thing is a source of anxiety for me, because on no level am I going "well if that happens I'll just cheat".
Edit: Stew, I saw your credits on the escapist and that's a nice body of work you've got there. You're a big man in the blogosphere. Oh god...I just used the word blogosphere. I deserve everything that's ever happened to me.
prexus
309
author=Max McGee
Hey Stew. I like your article (largely because of how my own thoughts about romance have changed so much over the years) and congratulations on the Escapist. That's a mighty big billboard.
Can I ask you a personal question? I guess it's pretty insensitive, but it's meant with all due respect. This has nothing to do with videogames and I'm not trying to troll ya.
We stayed together, eventually marrying in 2009, and as the years went by, I began to learn more and more what true romance is. The big moments were fun, but the real foundation was simply the act of maintaining our relationship. Having arguments and coming to their resolutions. Accepting each other's flaws and working on our own. Real love isn't grounded in grand gestures but rather small moments and shared history. It's the nicknames and jokes only we understand. It's holding hands in the car and kissing each other goodbye as much out of habit as out of passion. It's the boring moments that happen after the credits roll.
Do you worry about the fact that your wife is the only person you've ever been with? Doesn't it concern you that you missed out, not necessarily on the right person for you, but on the experience of being a single adult and sewing your wild oats to to speak? Do you worry that the entire situation is a mid-life crisis or a divorce waiting to happen ten or twenty years down the road, that at some point you'll realize your life is halfway over and you've only ever been with one woman, and that that woman is essentially the first one who said yes?
I will disclose, personally, since I'm asking. I've been in a stable monogamous relationship with the same girl for over five years now. I love her, but we're not married, and we're not even engaged. She's the only living human female (i.e. the only entity, period) I can even imagine marrying, ever, and if I lost her I'd be completely lost to the world, but I hesitate to marry her at this juncture. There's a lot of reasons--one of them is that I don't feel like an adult, I feel like a 25 year old boy, and you have to be a grown up to get married, and others are too neurotic or personal to disclose--but the relevant one to this discussion is that I worry about the fact that before her I was with such a vanishingly small number of women in my life. (I'd honestly call it, besides my current relationship, one relationship and change; at least thee girls I was involved with don't count as a full integer or even high enough decimals to add up to a whole person, for various reasons, so we'll call it like 1.75 relationships before this one.)
I worry about this...for all of the reasons I listed above.
This topic may be suited for a separate thread as there is a lot worth discussing here. I know you asked Stew but I have almost the exact same situation and experience as you, Max. The difference is that I have gone ahead and am engaged to be married already.
I have had roughly 1.3 relationships prior to my current one, and while I know that fidelity won't be a problem for me (strong will and what have you,) it's hard not to think "What if?" and such. I feel, much like you, that I am a 25 year old teenager. I don't feel like an adult at all. Yet I realize that my significant other has brought out the best qualities in me. She has hardened my resolve, calmed what I consider to be a torrent of anger inside me, and is slowly but surely bringing me into adulthood by allowing me to experience her life with her, and soon to be our life with her guidance.
I have come to the conclusion that "What if?" doesn't matter. Nothing out there could be better than this and even if there was the slightest chance there was someone more perfect, the endless list of risks involved are outweighed by what I have now. There is no guarantee it will be better. There is no guarantee it would even work out. I am happy now. For the first time in my life I can honestly say that I am happy. Nothing; no amount of anything would let me give that up.
I think that is a question that people need to determine at some point in their relationship. If you can't get past "What if?" then you should start thinking "What now?"
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